Building Confidence

Posted on September 20, 2011 by Matt Pasquinilli

Building Confidence

Confidence comes from the proof of our ability to do something. This ability is the application of a skill we have developed through practice. The skill we have practiced was learned by us after we opened our minds to the possibility of our being able to develop the skill. This opening of our mind came after we broke free from whatever belief may have been there before. This breaking of the old belief is a form of physical and emotional housecleaning.

The first step to build confidence is cleansing. Our body cleans itself out by sweating, breathing, elimination (going to the bathroom), and shedding skin. We aid this cleansing through vigorous and regular exercise. Emotional cleansing is also aided by physical exercise, which releases chemicals that balance adrenalin. Better respiration aids emotional cleansing by richly oxygenating the blood flowing into the brain.

After we have cleansed our body and mind, we must learn new ways to think, speak, and act. Using exercise, we can train our bodies to respond to stress by breathing deeply, developing correct posture, and creating an ability to make and maintain eye contact. By finding new and more positive ways in which to see ourselves, and the roles we play in this life, we can learn new methods and techniques to improve our emotional health and self-image.

In order for these techniques and methods to become skills, we must practice them consistently and diligently. This training is a conditioning at a very fundamental level. For example, the cells in our body do not know the difference between physical and emotional stress. This means that we can condition our body to breathe in response to great physical stress from running or other similar exercise, so that when we experience an equivalent

amount of emotional stress, the body naturally begins to breathe and our stress will be reduced.

After a skill has been developed, it must be applied to acquire proof of success. If a child has been trained to focus on schoolwork and, through application, receives grades better than ever before, the proof is the improved report card. By conditioning her body to handle stress with breathing, proof of success might be recognition by an employer of calmness under pressure. The result could be a promotion or monetary bonus.

Matt Pasquinilli is the Executive Director of the non-profit Asian Arts Center Taekwondo School in Dayton, Ohio.
www.aacdayton.com

Gratitude

Posted on November 16, 2010 by Matt Pasquinilli

Karate for Kids www.aacdayton.com — I am blessed with abundance!

What are you saying to yourself during the day? Are you focused on all the reasons why you can’t be successful? Are you thinking of the many reasons why you won’t be able to pay bills or grow your business? Once you get control of your inner thoughts, then you can replace negative, defeating self talk with words that can guide you to accomplishment and success.

Self-talk that is focused on gratitude for all that you already have is a good place to start in rewriting your inner script. This goes beyond just having a positive mental attitude, and is reality based and not just some pie-in-the-sky new age magic. There is no question that what you focus on expands. This means that when you start to think of all the ways that you are already blessed with abundance, you will begin to attract more of the same. No matter how pessimistic you may have been in the past, you can find many areas where you have abundance in your life that you can be grateful for.

Start by making a gratitude list. Do you have food to eat on a regular basis? There are billions of people in this world who don’t have enough to eat, so you can start your gratitude list there. You may not be living the life you want yet, but do you have a place to sleep at night that offers some protection from the elements and people who might want to do you harm? Again, there are plenty of people living without any type of protective shelter or security. Can you read? Can you see, smell, touch, hear? This may sound trite, but starting with the basics allows you to get into the mood of being thankful for what you have, and is a good way to train your mind to see what you have instead of what you don’t have.

Try the exercise described above for a few weeks. After you write your gratitude list, return to it daily to add to it or reread what you have already written. Think about how it makes you feel to acknowledge your abundance. Keep the list with you and refer to it every time you find yourself stuck on a self-defeating script or a limiting idea of lack or problem consciousness. When you find that you are starting to become solution conscious, act on the ideas that come to you and add your ability to find solutions as an item on your gratitude list!

Matt Pasquinilli is the author of The Child Whisperer and Behavior Coaching and is the Executive Director of the Asian Arts Center Taekwondo School in Dayton, Ohio.